lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize