I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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