Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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