2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
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I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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