i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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