i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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