I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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