I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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