Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize