he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
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All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
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Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i believe in u and ur pee
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