ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
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It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
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Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize