The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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