I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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