No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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