Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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