And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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