Little spoons don't ask big questions
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize