goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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