everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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