Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
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He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
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if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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