I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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