I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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