i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
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Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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