I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize