So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
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Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
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I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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