i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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