I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
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Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
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then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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