I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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