What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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