If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize