I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
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Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
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It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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