Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
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She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
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When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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