I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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