Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
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Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
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No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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