Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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