So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize