i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
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I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
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