it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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