If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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