Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize