life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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