I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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