Whod you bang
Christians are straight up FREAKS
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
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Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
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So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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