hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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