My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
where am i from again
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
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i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
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Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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