I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize