i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I think I won the penis lottery.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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