Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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