so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
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In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I have aggressive nipples.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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