im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize